allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (loesje: studeren)
Yup, lots of stuff still to do, though I was aiming to have everything ready by Friday.

I fail.
allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (hier gaat wat fout)
I got told off for being an idiot and letting my studies slip again. As usual, a concerned teacher was going Cass, you're too intelligent for being such an idiot, wtf?!, and... I just don't have an answer to that.

I don't know why I just can't seem to bring myself to do my homework on time.
I don't know why every single email (or letter or phone call or whatever) from a teacher or teacher-like entity makes me want to hide.
I do know that I get that feeling because I always think they're going to say I'm an idiot or doing it wrong or have totally failed whatever.
Yes, I do know how ridiculous that is in some cases. (Hi, final examinations results!)
I don't know why I seem to be allergic to deadlines.
Most of all, I don't know why the hell I can't get over this/myself to find some way around this rather massive bunch of problems for the average ambitious student.

My latest fail (nope, I still haven't looked at the email):
I am of course now going "MEEP!" and hiding, because my thesis supervisor needs my resume. But I would guess they're much more interested in academic stuff I've done (also basically nothing) but I have no clue how you put that. :(

I fail so badly at personal responsibility...Jeez, in fact I just got an email back from that other teacher as well and a) I just basically froze and b) I'm scared to even read it.

FAILING CASS FAILS!
(Yes, copy/pasted from a comment. I am lazy.)


As usual, I was being a scaredy-cat idiot. I now have one recommendation in the pocket and still no clue how resume = recommendation, yay!, so...

allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (shani :])
So I finally, finally emailed my thesis supervisor and that one teacher for whose classes I averaged a 9,3 (yes, I occasionally do did get high grades. very, very occasionally, though) about those recommendations.

Fingers crossed!

Still to do: a bazillion other random/stupid administrative stuff. >.>

ETA/PS: Whyyy do you need my resume? I have not done ANYTHING interesting in my life so far.

allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (loesje: studeren)
I stayed Chez Dad's for another day to do some homework, which unsurprisingly still hasn't been done. You see, I went to the library instead so I've just been reading since I got home. Yes. I'm that hopeless. Although I guess it doesn't help that we're talking really fucking boring homework. >:(

In other unsurprising news, I just can't bring myself to write to all of TWO teachers to ask for a recommendation. This is only the only thing I could ever see myself doing with my major, so it makes total sense NOT TO CHASE IT RIGHT NOW WITH EIGHT GODDAMN DAYS LEFT OMG WHY DO I FAIL AT BEING A RESPONSIBLE AND UNIDIOTIC PERSON GAH. I need a robot or something which can kick my ass whenever I stupidly neglect to do things I really, really should be doing. *headdesks*

Plus, my Anthropology study group is going to Istanbul in May. I really, really want to go but I can't afford it. Or rather, I can but I feel I've spent enough of the money people saved for me on random things (Brazil, Egypt, furniture, graphics tablet which doesn't fucking work, goddamn expensive anthropology (text)books). And I, y'know, have no job since I turned that other one down. GIEF €€€.

... D:

Mar. 20th, 2009 08:30 pm
allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (hier gaat wat fout)
Okay so I thought I'd wait a while with approaching teachers for that recommendation (note to self: DO THAT THIS WEEKEND) because I wanted to find out what the hell was up with the gradeless course. Of course, I send that email this Wednesday (since I've been waiting since February ><) and have still not heard back, because my university will find some way to fail at life no matter what.

So now I have less than eleven days to stress out about approaching two of my teachers for recommendations, write an essay about my motivation for pursuing this master's programme, explain away that lost year (oh great good luck with that, self!), and supply them with an essay displaying my English proficiency (which will have to be either 15(!!) or "a few" pages long). They have to have all this on their desks by April 1st.

Yaaay!

Stupid. My uni has it.

allangtegek: a tomato (the symbol for the dutch socialist party, in place of the rose) trying to look innocent of any wrongdoing (*innocent*)
Job interview went... well, it went. The woman conducting it isn't sure if it's the type of job for me, because, well, I like to hear myself talk too much. *g* This is pretty unavoidably true, so for now I'll attend a training day this Saturday, to see if the job suits me and I suit it, and if not, no harm done and I'll have to look elsewhere.

Since it was only 15.12 at that point, I decided to crash the master's presentation party anyway, and I'm glad I did. A lot of things are much clearer now, and I know what I will and won't have to worry about. I still wonder about the letters of recommendation, though, since I got my highest grades in Phonetics and Phonology but I probably won't be doing anything with that. (And by that I mean I need a teacher who doesn't think I'm just some lazy chick who never does anything. Or alternatively, who know I'm just some lazy chick who never does anything but who would nevertheless recommend me.) Lastly, I'm almost surprised how unsurprised I was at the other people who'll be pursuing the research master's...

Though I did forget to ask about that Comp. Ling. grade, because it had slipped my mind again. Whoopsie... I NEED TO KNOW IF I'M FUCKING SCREWED OR IF THIS GUY IS JUST SLOW! GET ME THAT DAMN GRADE!!
allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (loesje: studeren)
Okay, now with less drama and more information: I just handed in the first (oh so rough) draft of my thesis proposal. I guess I'll hear how useful it is or isn't tomorrow, but as usual I hadn't really looked at anything until slightly after ten. I really need to stop doing that, I think.

As it stands (for ten more hours at least) is that I'll write about the dialogue between the Dutch government(s) and the Committee of Experts' evaluation of our implementation of the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages and the Committee of Ministers recommendations regarding that same long phrase, and possibly on the way it's informed by the underlying attitudes with regard to language policy.

If that sounds like something I would never do, that's because I originally wanted to write about the attitudes of individual Europeans w.r.t. language policy. That got vetoed though, because apparently there's not a lot of clear communication between governments and citizens about it or language rights.

In other news, I just heard the Linguistics master's programme talk thingy is at the same time as my job interview. The scheduling conflicts are following me outside of uni! (I really need some information about the enrollment requirements because the deadline is the first of April and there are some documents you need to get to the administration people before then. Except, hah, I don't know exactly how and what...)

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