allangtegek: a pattern of dirt particles in a puddle of water (hier gaat wat fout)
[personal profile] allangtegek
I got told off for being an idiot and letting my studies slip again. As usual, a concerned teacher was going Cass, you're too intelligent for being such an idiot, wtf?!, and... I just don't have an answer to that.

I don't know why I just can't seem to bring myself to do my homework on time.
I don't know why every single email (or letter or phone call or whatever) from a teacher or teacher-like entity makes me want to hide.
I do know that I get that feeling because I always think they're going to say I'm an idiot or doing it wrong or have totally failed whatever.
Yes, I do know how ridiculous that is in some cases. (Hi, final examinations results!)
I don't know why I seem to be allergic to deadlines.
Most of all, I don't know why the hell I can't get over this/myself to find some way around this rather massive bunch of problems for the average ambitious student.

My latest fail (nope, I still haven't looked at the email):
I am of course now going "MEEP!" and hiding, because my thesis supervisor needs my resume. But I would guess they're much more interested in academic stuff I've done (also basically nothing) but I have no clue how you put that. :(

I fail so badly at personal responsibility...Jeez, in fact I just got an email back from that other teacher as well and a) I just basically froze and b) I'm scared to even read it.

FAILING CASS FAILS!
(Yes, copy/pasted from a comment. I am lazy.)


As usual, I was being a scaredy-cat idiot. I now have one recommendation in the pocket and still no clue how resume = recommendation, yay!, so...

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